On this often-debated subject, Mr. Graham has said: “In Ephesians 5:23 it says that ‘the husband is the head of the wife.’ Now being the head does not imply superiority. But it means the role that you have in life. The Scripture says: ‘Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church’ (Ephesians 5:25, RSV). How did Christ love the church? He loved the church so much that He died on the cross for all of those who were going to become members of His body, the church, and He gave Himself up for the church that He might sanctify her and present her to Himself in splendor (see verses 26, 27). Now headship is seen in His care of the church, His sacrificial love for the church, His desire for her to grow into the fullness of her splendor.”
Ephesians 5:28 also says that “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” So, once again, the emphasis of headship is not upon power or control, but upon love and care. Headship focuses on nurture and protection, not domination—on self-sacrifice, not selfish demands. For the wife, respecting a husband who loves her with God’s own love becomes a joy, not a burden.