By   •   November 1, 2012   •   Topics: ,


Does the Bible say a husband and wife must go to the same church? We can't agree where to go, and the simplest thing would be for us to go to different churches. Would this be wrong?


The Bible doesn’t say anything directly about this; the problem didn’t arise because Christians were few in number in those days, and they knew they needed to draw strength from each other.

If it’s at all possible, however, I certainly urge couples to attend the same church. Not only will it help them grow closer to each other and to God, but it will help their children learn about Jesus. Although my wife and I came from different denominations, we happily attended the same church in our small community.

However, I know it’s not always possible for couples to agree on this, and rather than cause discord, on rare occasions it may be better to take the path you’ve suggested. However, don’t do it casually or simply because it’s easy. Pray together about it, and ask God to guide you and help you know His will.

Don’t judge any church too quickly, but ask God to guide you to one where the Bible is preached and taught, and you can have fellowship with other believers. In addition, think through what you really need in a church. Do you simply want a church that reminds you of the one you grew up in? Or are you honestly seeking a church where you can grow in your faith, and you can serve Christ?

Above all, put Jesus Christ at the center of your lives — as individuals and as a family. When our lives are centered in Him, disagreements begin to fade. Remember the Bible’s admonition: “Let us not give up meeting together… but let us encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25).

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  1. Kerry says:

    My husband and I can not agree on a church either. The problem though is because he struggled with lust at our church. We are both in our 30’s but the church he wants to attend is 5min from a college campus, which is actually 40min from our home, and the majority of people that go there are college students and very young adults. I do not feel comfortable in the church because of his past betrayals there with lust, but he refuses to try and find another church and now says I have forced him to not even attend a church. So now he has even stopped reading his Bible. I don’t know what to do.

  2. jackie says:

    My wife goes to church in someone house for 20 years. where are the growth?

  3. masokoye phiri says:

    I think its good for a couple to go to the some church as it ll be posible to do church programes together Heb 10 vs 25 which encourages people to fellowship together and encourage one onother

  4. Belsa J Rios says:

    Thank you so much for this answer. It really helps and I hope my husband and I can find peace with this problem we are facing. But because of this article I will place it in God’s hand.

  5. juliet says:

    I like to be honest with where I go. I don’t like the church my husband attends now. He is also angry because I go to another church. I am beginning to hate him because he is not honest. When he talks I feel he only wants to control me. I used to go with him until he started disrespecting me.

    1. Rita says:

      Thanks for the information.

  6. Linda says:

    Thanks my husband are now going to different church s and I pray we can attend.together like we use to do …God has all the ans wers….thanks for the post

  7. Debbie says:

    I decided to attend both the church that my husband attends and an additional service at the one that I feel I am called to. I have a pastor friend from another church who definitely thinks I should be attending only the church that my husband desires. My husband has agreed to this arrangement. I believe the church which I attend has a much deeper biblical doctrine which is quite sound. My husband’s church is more liberal. I am trying to honor God first but also my husband’s desires. My pastor friend does not think I am honoring my husband by attending another church in addition to the one my husband prefers.

    1. Genesis says:

      This is going to sound terrible. But your husband is the spiritual leader of your home. Also you’re married so therefore one flesh. So there is no way God is calling you in separate directions. You need to be in church with your husband.